Flying with Cannibals

When boarding a flight, it is wise to plan ahead and decide which passengers would be tastiest and most filling in the event of a crash landing and the inevitable cannibalism to follow.

Fellatio Etiquette for Job Seekers

The hows, whys, and whens of offering fellatio services to your potential employer.

Parking 101 for Douchefingers

Parking etiquette for douchefingers, and why it's okay in a polite society to key a douchefinger's Mercedes.

Tony Blair, Dirty Fishmonger

Protestors showed up at Colby College to accuse Tony Blair of war crimes. What the protestors really should have been doing was accusing Tony Blair of crimes against halibuts.

Sean Hannity's Great American Circle Jerk

If you ever want to hear the AM talk radio version of a circle jerk, just tune into Sean Hannity's radio show. But be forewarned: listening to Hannity will make you more ignorant and less informed.

Sarlaccs, James Dobson, and Other Urinal Perils

Urinal saarlacs are not the only danger one faces in public restrooms these days. You also have to worry about finding James Dobson mistaking the urinal next to you for a drinking fountain.

Is Your Mustard Racist?

Have you ever wondered what a bottle of yellow mustard has to say about the intersocietal pressures of living in a refrigerator with moldy cheese and a jar of pickles? Then tune in to Alex's hard hitting interview with a bottle of yellow mustard.

Alexander Snogglefork Should Run Disney Studios

With the exit of Rich Ross, Disney needs a new movie studio chief. Bob Iger should consider being the first major studio to put a Snogglefork in charge. Not because it's a good business idea—because it is not—but because it will be entertaining.

Medical Tip for Penis Owners

If you have a penis on your person, you need to watch this important video with medical advice that could very well save your penis from melting.

The Internet is for Socialists

The internet is the primary place anti-government zealots go to complain about government spending. And yet the internet was invented by government-funded researchers working in government-funded facilities. To paraphrase Shakespeare, a free-market zealot would smell just as hypocritical by any other name.

Mustache Proliferation Must Be Stopped

A great scourge is spreading across America. No, not syphilis. Something far worse than syphilis. The scourge of hideous, unkempt hipster mustaches.

Lindsay Lohan and Kim Jong Un. The new Hollywood/Pyongyang power couple?

Peyote Mango Smoothies

Want to start your own business? Learn the basics from Alexander Snogglefork. All you need are some mangoes, some peyote, and you're on your way to your first franchise.

Catshit Crazy Fever Ted Nugent

Alexander Snogglefork explains why liberals shouldn't be upset when Ted Nugent goes insane. Nor should they get upset when James Inhofe defends Ted Nugent.

Rockstar Assistant

If you've ever been looking through job ads and have seen an ad seeking a "Rockstar Assistant," then you'll want to watch this episode to get Alex's take on this douchey trend.